Notting Hill Carnival: alternatives in east London
Those who struggle to comprehend the fury of Scottish nationalism should consider how they feel about going to west London; or east London, if you sit on the west (wrong) side of the fence. Quite simply, the idea appals you: there’s nothing to do there anyway, and even if there were, it’s populated by the sorts you would prefer never to encounter, except in satire — which you lap up gleefully, fuelling your confirmation bias.
Most of the time, those of us who think west London basically isn’t even in London are smug: we know we have the best clubs, the best bars, the best food and the best people. But once a year Carnival comes to town and even those friends you thought you could trust — the kind of people who say, “I’m Hackney till I die, mate” — suddenly suggest on the group WhatsApp that perhaps you just go to Carnival “for a bit” and actually their mate from school has a flat there and said that we’re “all welcome”.
You sulk, get out your glitter hotpants, and prepare to get the Central line all the way to Snotting Hill (can you even use contactless that far out?).
But don’t worry! You never need to go there again! Carnival is coming east this year — keep the hotpants and go local.
DJ Norman Jay is a decorated dance music hero (really, he has an MBE), who played at Obama’s inauguration but reckons that Carnival is more memorable: his pitch — on the junction of West Row and Southern Row — has long-since been a highlight of the party. But this year he’s taking the Good Times sound system to Hackney for the bank holiday, playing a gig at St John’s Church in Clapton (Lower Clapton Road, E3, stjohnathackney.org.uk, Saturday). Jay says the move had to happen to “ensure the Good Times legacy”, telling the Standard that Good Times “became a victim of its own success” — too many people tried to cram in and it became dangerous. Go welcome in the new eastern era.
Alternatively, the Cat & Mutton (76 Broadway Market, E8, catandmutton.com, Sunday) is throwing a bank hol bash, with a star turn from a donkey. There will be petting and £5 rides up the market and all proceeds go to St Joseph’s Hospice on Mare Street. As day turns to night the donkeys will be returned to safety and the Carnival punch will come out. You will be given a mask, everyone around you will look like a donkey and you will have a drunken meltdown.
And the strip — or Kingsland Road — will also be heaving with revellers keeping it east-side: old skool garage kids Heartless Crew are headlining the Dalston Summer Block Party. One (golden) ticket grants access to both The Nest and Efes; party collective Shorebitch is in charge of making sure the Carnival runs without a hitch (residentadvisor.net, shorebitch.co.uk).
East or west, anyone can join the party.
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