The best anti-Valentine’s Day parties happening in London

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Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, but thousands of Londoners really aren’t looking forward to celebrating in 2018...

The year’s ‘most romantic’ holiday, taking place on February 14, can be a pretty tough time of the year for singletons in London.

Everywhere you look Instagram feeds are clogged up with pictures of flowers, chocolates and “date night with this one ❤️️” posts, which can make for pretty difficult viewing at the best of times.

However, couples aren’t exactly free of Valentine’s Day woes either: money is always a little tight after Christmas, and the last thing you want to be doing is blowing your hard earned cash on gifts and an overpriced nights out.

The truth is, many people – single or otherwise – would happily cancel Valentine’s Day without a second thought.

So, if you’re one of the people looking to escape the usual schmaltzy stuff this February, these are the best anti-Valentine’s Day parties to check out in London.

F*** Tinder London

Mr Moll was devastated when he accidentally swiped left on Ms Alley's profile
PA

Singles from all over the capital are swiping left to dating apps this February, with the help of the F*** Tinder London event at The Prince of Wales in Brixton. It’s a chance to meet new people face to face, without the use of impersonal dating apps, and enjoy a night of live comedy. Expect plenty of laughs at this event, which brings a fun new angle to the mixer/blind date format, with a distinctly anti-Valentine's feel.

The Prince of Wales, Brixton, 467- 469 Brixton Rd, Brixton, London SW9 8HH, pow-london.com

Anti-Valentine’s Day poetry at Hackney Picturehouse

Action: Workers at Hackney Picturehouse are also planning to walk out on Thursday
Google Maps

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you hate soppy poems, this one's for you…

Hackney Picturehouse is welcoming Londoners to an anti-Valentine’s Day event in which the very worst, most cringe-worthy poetry wins the prizes. It’s a chance for everyone to get involved, and see some of London’s most revered poets try their hand at writing laughably bad prose. It sounds like a great antidote to lovey-dovey Valentine’s sentiments, and could be a fun event for east Londoners looking for an alternative celebration this year.

270 Mare St, London E8 1HE, picturehouses.com

The Bleeding Heart Ball

Head to the Vaults in Waterloo for anti-Valentine’s Day celebration The Bleeding Heart Ball, which promises to be a twisted celebration in south east London. The immersive experience is billed as a night of drinking and debauchery, with attendees spending time between enigmatically titled zones The Pleasure Palace and Den of Iniquity. If you’re feeling brave, third room 'Te Life Drawing Salon' – home to “London’s finest nude life drawing models” – is also an option...

Launcelot St, Lambeth, London SE1 7AD, vaultfestival.com

Ballroom Blitz Anti-Valentines Ball

Camden’s Electric Ballroom is hosting a Ballroom Blitz event which could be right up your street. The club night, put on by SuicideGirls, promises to be a freaky celebration of alternative culture, complete with burlesque, fire performers and even a freakshow. The party carries on until 3am and tickets for the event are available for just £5.

184 Camden High St, London NW1 8QP, electricballroom.co.uk

Anti-Valentine Tapas Body Experience

Croatia: Obonjan Island, Harbour Tapas
Bird Travel

If you like your dining events a little… unusual, then the tapas body experience at the Toy Room Club in Mayfair could be for you. Those taking part can expect an elegant tapas buffet served on the bodies of models Will and Hannah (if you’re a bit squeamish about hygiene, there’s no need to worry - the venue reassuringly confirms that none of the food is ever in direct contact with the models).

While the models dress down, diners are encouraged to dress to impress for their future, or current, Valentine’s Day sweethearts. It’s certainly one of the quirkiest events happening on February 14, and it promises to be a pretty unique experience

The London Paladium, 8-9 Argyll St, Soho, London W1F 7TF, eventbrite.co.uk

Bumble’s anti-Valentine’s Day Party

Katy Strick

Dating app Bumble is bringing people together face to face this February 14 with an anti-Valentine’s Day celebration at Bounce in Farringdon. It’s the fifth year the event has taken place, pairing UV table tennis with cocktails and all-round good vibes. Guest will be asked to abide by the strict anti-Valentine’s rules, the ‘Love Police’ will be on hand to capture mugshots of any ‘romance rebels’ too, but there’s still the small chance you might meet someone special over a game of ping pong.

121 Holborn, London EC1N 2TD, bouncepingpong.com

Platonic promise

Given that there’s literally every other day of the year to hang out with your bezzies, palentines and galentine’s are a touch confounding. Still, it’s a good excuse to join Drinki’s cocktail crawl around Shoreditch, which is encouraging everyone to drown their singleton woes on February 13. The crawl is a bargain at £1 (not including drinks). For a slightly more elegant approach to the same end, quaff cocktails and canapés and get green fingers with a terrarium-making class at The Alfred Tennyson in Belgravia for £55 per person.

If you can stand your friends sober — always a plus — go environmentally friendly with the Junk Hunters across London on their Rubbish Experience Day. It’s recycling on a grand scale and sounds surprisingly fun, provided you don’t end up in a scrap. One man’s treasure…£150.
David Ellis

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