'I felt like the black sheep of the family': The girl driven out of her home because she was gay

A young woman today told of the horror of being driven out of her home in south London aged 16 by her parents because she was gay.

Charlotte Smith*, 24, said her mother changed the locks soon after she found her kissing another girl.

She had come out to her conservative, church-going Nigerian parents several months before.

Charlotte said: “Dad thought it was a phase. Mum thought it was a joke.”

But then her mother found her with the girl at home: “Mum started sort of smacking me, saying, ‘Not in my house, not in my house’.

"I had to leave and spend the night with my aunt. When I came back home, it was tense. Mum wouldn’t speak to me.”

For several weeks her 14-year-old brother would let her in and she would sneak into her room to sleep - until he was forbidden to help her.

She said: “One night no one came to the door. My brother told me, ‘I can’t do this any more’. He would get in trouble with mum if he let me in.”

After “sofa surfing” at a friend’s house she sought help from her local authority. “Initially, the council didn’t want to take me on,” said Charlotte.

They just told me, ‘Go back home’, not understanding that was no longer an option. I was grieving the loss of my family. I felt isolated, like the black sheep of the family, the cause of all problems. It was hurtful.”

She spent time in “a bedsit on a sink estate, with a shared toilet with faeces all over it” before being referred to safe, clean accommodation with Centrepoint.

"Helped by the charity, Charlotte has moved into a housing association flat and found work as an administrator for a construction company. They have helped her to a reconciliation with her family.

She said the Young & Homeless Helpline would be vital as she had not known where to go for help.

While she is proudly out as gay, she said people should not be fooled that society was becoming more accepting of homosexuals — especially within the family home.

She said: “I have about five close, close friends who have been kicked out of the house because of their sexuality. One or two were beaten out of the house. I know people where their family tried to send them to Africa to ‘fix’ them.”

* Name has been changed to protect her identity