Boys are the new girls

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13 April 2012

Confirmation that male beautification is on the rise came with the sighting this weekend of Prince Harry's nail varnish. We'd already grown acclimatised to footballers like David Beckham and comedians such as David Walliams plucking and painting like billy-ho. We'd become blasé about film stars and TV presenters, such as High School Musical's Zac Efron and Alex Zane, slapping on the slap. Thanks to Eddie Izzard we've even adjusted to the idea of a butch, bearded, heterosexual man in full maquillage.

But this was a strapping, martial male royal - a war veteran and a roister-doister of the first order - with the cuticles of his left hand varnished a fetching pink. The rest of us are clearly going to have to raise our cosmetic game.

The current trend goes beyond the basics of moisturising and depilation that are now part of most men's daily routine and harks back to the high watermark of male cosmetic enhancement in the Eighties. I'm not talking about the likes of Steve Strange and Leigh Bowery, of course, who used makeup to make aggressive artistic and politico-sexual statements - for them, it was quite literally warpaint. No, the true trailblazer was Adam Ant, a man who used eyeliner and blusher to accentuate his already fine features, to get girls and to detract from his thinning hair. "I spend my cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention," as he sang in Stand and Deliver. Like Ant - and like generations of women - today's make-up-wearing metrosexuals are making the most of what they've got. And it's not just the young, like painted ladies' man Russell Brand, who now aspire to feminine levels of enhancement. Gordon Brown was snapped having his nose powdered before meeting (younger, less lined) Barack Obama. Before him, Tony Blair trowelled on the Touche Eclat to mask the effects that the hand of history had wrought. More and more famous men of a certain age - Tom Ford, Mickey Rourke, Simon Cowell - are resorting to "boytox" for a wrinkle-free forehead. Indeed Rourke, whose face now resembles a roasting joint wrapped in plastic, is a handy reminder for the vain of the perils of going too far.

The question now is what those of us without the fine features of a Beckham or a Brand - or even the rugged looks of Brown - should do. Personally, I reckon I'd look like Edna Everage in make-up but my wife has long suggested that I should make the most of my relatively long eyelashes. Maybe I, like Harry, should head for the cosmetics counter at Boots. And maybe Harry should learn to apply nail varnish with both hands.

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