Pushy mothers are a blessing to great artists

12 April 2012

This is not a flattering time to be a pushy mother. The flagship face of parental ambition is mutilated by cosmetic surgery and disappointment.

Barbara Hershey plays the mother of Natalie Portman in Black Swan with gothic affection. She imprisons her daughter in childhood, cosseting her in a bedroom of princess pinks and soft toys.

There is some argument about the meaning of this film, but one clear message is that Natalie Portman needs to escape for what Miranda calls "shenanigans".

Then there is Amy Chua, author of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, and recipient of death threats for her unfashionable view of child rearing.

Chua's thesis, for which there is some statistical evidence, is that Western indulgence of children is breeding a generation of losers. Ms Chua contends that childhood should not be a delight but a boot camp training ground for success.

Meanwhile, Judy Murray's post earthquake expression is the image of Andy Murray's defeat at the Australian Open. What does Boris Becker mean by writing that Murray needs some last-minute encouragement from somebody who cares about him? His mother has given her life and soul to this game.

As Amy Chua discovered in prolonged psychological warfare with her younger daughter, pushiness only works if children are passive and obedient or equally ambitious. Most children see the glint in the eye from miles away and run for it.

Yet it would be a pity if maternal ambition became equated with freakishness and misery. The point about dance, music and sport is that performance at the highest level takes extreme dedication, concentration and discipline. Out of this comes joy.

The monstrous mother in Black Swan was not insane to discourage her daughter from a night out on drink and drinks before a major rehearsal. And when she realised that her daughter was unhinged, even by the standards of the household, she tried to stop her performing.

Amy Chua, unlike the Black Swan mother, is not channelling her own frustration and disappointment into her daughter. She is a Yale law professor, thank you very much. She is culturally drawn to the disciplines that many Western children find too stern: mathematics and classical music.

At my daughter's former school, many children amiably bashed out Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and then gave up on the piano. One girl practised more seriously and was an object of fascination in class for not being allowed to watch television at home.

This was not because her mother was pushy but because she was a leading concert performer who understood that an exalted level of performance required sacrifices. You don't achieve such greatness without hard work. We demand and celebrate excellence but not the means to achieve it.

Beauty lies in talent too

Ask most young girls if they would prefer to be interesting looking or beautiful and it is a slam-dunk answer. Yet a recent interview with the actress Carey Mulligan makes a persuasive case for the superior qualities of being interesting. Mulligan gets the lead part in Never Let Me Go, while Keira Knightley has a supporting role.

Kazuo Ishiguro, the author of the book on which the film is based, explains that while Carey is "not as conventionally attractive as Keira, she's a terrifically subtle actress". Is it the fluidity of a plainer face which makes Mulligan so much more watchable in this film, or a greater talent? Somehow, the two go together.

Egypt: there's no easy answer

A research fellow at the Quilliam Foundation, which counters Islamic extremism, chides me for a previous column about Tunisia in which I trotted out a Washington-centric platitude that economic reform gives people a taste for political freedom. My correspondent, Richard Phelps, also objects to a simplistic view of the Arab world that it is stability (eg West-friendly despots) versus Islamic fundamentalism.

Events in Tunisia and Egypt show opposition can come from a young, educated, mainstream population rather than extremists. The revolutions in Eastern Europe were in favour of Western-style democracy and economic liberalisation, so we understood them. But what does revolution mean in the Arab world? The army is apparently liked by the Egyptian protesters.

The most organised opposition to President Mubarak is the Muslim Brotherhood, described as secular and peaceful, despite photos of its adherents marching in masks. They have come out in support of the Nobel Peace laureate Mohamed El-Baradei, who has championed non-nuclear proliferation, yet is criticised for tolerance of Iran.

Mr Phelps reminds me that the politics of the region are more complex than anything I can imagine.

Enough, lads

I didn't think so at the time but the fall from grace of Sky Sports presenters Andy Gray and Richard Keys may be a cultural tipping point. Ed Miliband must have calculated pre-scandal that a laddish interview with Piers Morgan in GQ could only boost his ratings; oooh er - the Cleggover question. Oooh er - the missus will kill me etc.

Instead, it feels dated. David Cameron regretted his interview with Jonathan Ross, in which he was asked if he masturbated while fantasising over Margaret Thatcher in stockings. Next time politicians feel compelled to be one of the lads, do us a favour, love. Just say no.

Create a FREE account to continue reading

eros

Registration is a free and easy way to support our journalism.

Join our community where you can: comment on stories; sign up to newsletters; enter competitions and access content on our app.

Your email address

Must be at least 6 characters, include an upper and lower case character and a number

You must be at least 18 years old to create an account

* Required fields

Already have an account? SIGN IN

By clicking Create Account you confirm that your data has been entered correctly and you have read and agree to our Terms of use , Cookie policy and Privacy policy .

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged in