AA Gill's My London

The restaurant critic and writer eats Italian in Barnes and wants to camp out in Kew
Hannah Nathanson21 June 2013

Home is…

Chelsea.

Last play you saw?

The Hothouse at Trafalgar Studios. It had some very good typical Pinter writing in it and Simon Russell Beale and John Simm were fantastic.

Most romantic thing someone’s done for you?

A taxi driver knocked £2 off my fare the other day because there was a lot of traffic along the river. I don’t know anywhere else in the world where that would happen; that’s the romance of London. Not that I fancy cab drivers.

Best place for a first date?

Tea at the Royal Geographical Society. You can see marvellous busts of old, intrepid explorers.

First thing you do when you arrive back in town?

Drive from Heathrow to Chelsea. It’s one of the best journeys in London and it always makes me feel waves of happiness and love for the city.

Best meal you’ve had?

I never answer that. The place I go to most often is Riva, an Italian restaurant in Barnes. I’ve been eating there twice a week for 15 years and I haven’t seen a menu for 12 years — the food just arrives.

What’s your speciality dish?

I like to pretend I have a generous spirit when I cook so I prepare big dishes, such as stews, which drives The Blonde mad when it’s just the two of us.

What would you do as Mayor?

Build a new bridge across the Thames with lovely shops and marvellous restaurants on it, like the original London Bridge.

Favourite club?

I love The Chelsea Arts Club and eat there once a year, and every year I realise it’s probably the most expensive meal I have. I also like listening to talks at the Frontline Club (above) in Paddington.

Favourite shops?

I consult at the tailors Anderson & Sheppard on Clifford Street, so I’m often there. I use a very good local butcher called Wyndham House on the Fulham Road. One of the great truisms in life is that you can fall out with your wife, mistress and even your bank manager but never with your butcher. For books I like Sotheran’s of Sackville Street; it’s somewhere you can happily while away half an hour every day for the rest of your life.

Best thing a cabbie has said to you?

‘I’ve had that Marco Pierre White in my taxi and he’s a bit of a pussycat, isn’t he? I don’t know what all the fuss is about.’

Best place to let your hair down?

I have no hair left. I only let my hair down when I can sit down comfortably, so when I eat out and go to the theatre.

Building you’d like to be locked in overnight?

The V&A. It’s got such an incredible variety of objects and I love the idea of being there at night with no one else.

Ever had a run-in with a policeman?

I’ve spent a night in the cells, like everyone. I was once basically arrested by Sherlock Holmes for being drunk and put in Earls Court nick.

What’s your earliest food memory?

I remember my mother coming home with a kiwi fruit, presumably from Soho. I ate it with a spoon, as you would an egg, which just seemed amazing.

Biggest extravagance?

I’ve been forced to give up heroin and whisky, so bespoke clothes.

Best piece of advice?

The Sunday Times managing editor who first employed me said: ‘As far as possible, be lucky.’

Last album you downloaded?

Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau and Gerald Moore singing the complete Schubert Lieder.

Building you’d like to live in?

The Palm House in Kew Gardens. It would be nice to camp out in an Eden-like garden.

Who’s your hero?

Fay Maschler, the doyenne of restaurant critics. She invented the ground rules and set the bar.

The Golden Door: Letters to America is out now in paperback (Phoenix, £8.99)

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