Are you man enough for the shorts suit?
Ah, spring. Season of bright, crisp days and male sartorial bafflement. At this time of the year, a chap's delight at the prospect of long evenings, picnics and girls in summer dresses is tempered with anxiety as he lets go of his safe winter wardrobe of dark suits. It's still just that wee bit too nippy for chinos, certainly for shorts.
Sure, every man who puts on a linen suit looks like Paul Henreid in Casablanca for about five minutes. After that, these wondrous garments turn into wrinkled dishrags if you have a) sweat glands and b) a job that involves anything more than standing perfectly still near an air conditioner. So what to wear? Fortunately, this year, there's a choice.
Although they are both smart and practical, debate over the basic plausibility of short suits — that's suits with shorts instead of trousers, do you see what they did there? — rages on. And beautiful as they are, you'd have to be very young, very slim and very confident to wear the sugar-pink ones seen on the Wintle catwalk. You'd also have to make sure you didn't stray out of Shoreditch into, say, Dalston.
Me, I'd go for the lightweight, unstructured summer suit as seen at Lanvin, at least until we've decisively won the right to expose male knees in the workplace. Cotton or cotton-blend suits fare better in the face of spring weather: the odd crease looks OK and darker colours won't show the grass stains. But don't wear a tie unless you're going to a wedding.
Printed shirts are everywhere, the short-sleeved ones bringing back fond memories of the London rude boy look circa 1980. Again, you'd better make sure you're under 30, or at least have a decent torso, if you want to wear them without pulling off that inimitable "Tony Soprano at a barbecue" look.
This year's light, bright spring knits might be a better bet, especially for keeping pallid forearms covered. I can't wear them because my wife has a morbid fear of cardigans. Seriously.
It's so bad we have to refer to them as the "C-word" in my house. She's also bought a parka, which means I can't buy one without looking matchy-matchy. Which is a shame, because this is a utilitarian look that's good for warm days and cool nights and can go over a suit or jeans. Uniqlo's is nice.
Finally, do not be tempted by the demon trend that is double denim. Matching a denim jacket or shirt with a pair of jeans doesn't work for women and it double doesn't work for men. It didn't work for Bucks Fizz and Bros in the Eighties and it didn't work for David Beckham earlier this year. If tempted, ditch the top half, unless you're very keen to reference Brokeback Mountain. No man ever went wrong in spring with a pair of jeans.
