Louise Mensch: Everybody here says 'Happy Holidays'. I’ve never liked this; I wish people 'Happy Hanukkah', 'Merry Christmas' or 'Eid Mubarak' as appropriate

The Rockefeller ice rink, spiced cookie ice cream and twinkling red and green lights on the Empire State Building. Christmas in Manhattan is magical, but new New Yorker Louise Mensch still misses home
Louise Mensch14 December 2012

It’s interesting how New York is held up as one of the most Christmassy places around. I suppose something has to be done to sell hotel rooms in the middle of a winter so freezing it makes Corby’s snowdrifts look like a tropical summer. In fact, New York is much less Christmassy than London. It’s partly that the place is more multicultural — there is a strong Jewish contingent here and it’s not the done thing to wish somebody ‘Merry Christmas’. Everybody here says ‘Happy Holidays’, except maybe on Christmas Day itself. I’ve never liked this; I will wish people ‘Happy Hanukkah’, ‘Merry Christmas’ or ‘Eid Mubarak’ as appropriate.

One part of the difference is that Christmas is almost a secondary holiday in New York. The biggest deal in America comes a month earlier, at Thanksgiving: basically Christmas without the presents. Families fly in from all over the country to be with each other for one big, blowout meal featuring turkey, wine and lots of arguments. Christmas in New York is still niche — a big niche, but a niche — whereas everybody, Jewish, atheist, Muslim, Hindu, celebrates Thanksgiving. Each year giant balloons float down Columbus Avenue towards Macy’s in the Thanksgiving Day parade.

Still, there is an orgy of giving and selling. As the holiday approaches, New York hosts tourists as well as locals grabbing bargains for the season. The shops are crammed. The huge tree goes up at the Rockefeller Center, and Fifth Avenue traffic comes to a standstill. Personally, I went into a buying frenzy at Uniqlo, where cashmere jumpers cost the equivalent of £26. I know, right?

Christmas itself finds the city somewhat deserted. A large contingent of the non-Christian population will take the opportunity to fly off somewhere hot. Last year I spent my first Christmas Mass at a large Spanish-speaking church in Costa Rica, while Peter, my Jewish husband, sat by the pool. It will be something similar this year.

For me and my children, our tree will benefit from the fact that you can get everything you want in this city. Forget wrestling with the stand (tree leans, ornaments crash, parents curse), there are companies here that sell you a tree, bring it, set it up for you, and remove it once you’re done. As we’ve moved this year, I also don’t have my Christmas decorations with me — a great excuse to start over with fresh vintage-style baubles and feather-covered fake robins. Santa has different habits, too, although we still doggedly call him by his proper name of Father Christmas. He will leave presents under the tree instead of in stockings. Except, obviously, at our house where I hear he plans to leave pillowcases as per usual.

We are also going Christmas-tastic by welcoming two new puppies, a pair of Labradoodles, rejoicing in the names of Nanook and Archie Cerberus (allowing under-tens to pick a name is always a mistake). They are ridiculously sweet, and we’re lucky to be living right next to one of New York’s few parks where you can let your dog off the lead. Also, we are a block from Central Park on the Upper West Side, and Peter has discovered that pre-9am is dog off-lead time there, too. I’m delegating him to do the walking.

The Christmas pomp and circumstance is different in America, and clearly therefore wrong, so we are taking time to correct it. I have imported boxes of crackers. Americans also give out their presents on Christmas Eve (what?) leaving the day itself as a giant letdown with only lunch to worry about. Boxing Day also means little to them. You can’t really understand an American Christmas unless you get the rhythm of their year in celebrations — perhaps Pippa Middleton could feature this in a sequel book. With longer school terms and shorter times off than in the UK, Americans keep their sanity with a regular procession of long weekends. They make a big deal of lots of other holidays, too: Halloween, Easter, Passover, Hanukkah. A major American holiday comes along about once a month. January’s big deal is the Super Bowl. But before that, there is New Year when the giant ball is dropped in Times Square and half the city comes out to spectate, while the other half is at a party watching it on TV. Manhattan loves this tradition, and loves how the world keeps its eyes on the neon beauty of Times Square. Type A New York is caught up in the endless romance of herself — this metropolis has no self-esteem issues.

So, New York at Christmas. The streets are lined with trees for sale, the shops are crammed with bargains, Häagen-Dazs has its limited-edition cookie spice ice cream, the Rockefeller Center opens its large ice rink, and the lights on the Empire State building shift to seasonal red and green. But if you want a proper,traditional Christmas, you are better off back home. Being divorced, our family alternates Christmas arrangements — and next year, when it’s my turn, we all will be flying home to Sussex, where my mum will have spiced a ham and my dad will have opened the sloe gin. See you in 2013!

The ES Guide on how to do a USA Christmas

Eat Turduckens are all the rage in Williamsburg so go multi-bird (thefarmersmarketshop.co.uk). Or have a Christmas Eve blowout at King’s Road’s latest pizza joint Brooklyn Bite (brooklynbite.com).

Drink For a downtown-style view, Duck and Waffle does the job (duckandwaffle.com). The American Bar at The Savoy serves a mean eggnog (fairmont.com).

The presents Partridges deli (partridges.co.uk) reminds New Yorkers of their favourite homespun gourmet market chain Garden of Eden. Notting Hill serves as a mini Manhattan with its boutiques. Yankee doodle dandies stick to Ralph Lauren and James Perse on Westbourne Grove.

The service Celebrate at The American Church on Tottenham Court Road, where it’s as much about checking everyone out as it is about worship.

The outing New Yorkers didn’t let Superstorm Sandy stop them training, so Christmas Day will see them power-jogging around the Serpentine.

Dream dinner guest Possible ambassador Anna Wintour (left) would be the politic choice.

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