In full: Victim statement of Tia Sharp's mother Natalie

 
13 May 2013
WEST END FINAL

Get our award-winning daily news email featuring exclusive stories, opinion and expert analysis

I would like to be emailed about offers, event and updates from Evening Standard. Read our privacy notice.

Here is the victim impact statement made by Tia's mother Natalie Sharp in full:

"I grew up in a very close family. I had a special relationship with my Nan, my mum's mum. When I knew that I was expecting Tia, I was so happy that I would have something to love.

"Tia's father Steven disappeared before she was born and I realised that the unique relationship I had with my Nanny would be repeated with Tia and my mum. I did try to keep Tia in her father's life but when he had a new family, it was obvious to Tia that he didn't want to know. So there was always me, Mum, my brother and Tia. A small but really close family unit.

"My parents gave me a good childhood. They were together until 1999 and at the time they broke up I was angry. When Tia came along I had a reason to keep out of trouble; if it had not been for her, my life would have been very different. She was mine and no one else's and I had someone to love.

"When I was told Tia had gone missing I always believed that she would come back. At the very worst I thought I'd have to face the fact that someone had touched her and scared her and hurt her. I never really considered that she would be dead. How could I? Worse still was the false hope from the hoaxer who said they had her. I thought she was coming back.

"Since Tia was taken, I have lost my trust in everyone. It is too hard for me to believe that she is really gone. I try to think of her being on a sleepover at her friend's house.

"Jack, my eldest son who is three, asked me just this week if Tia was coming home from school soon. I've had to tell him the truth. It made him really cry. I told him that Tia is a star in the sky and now when we go up to say goodnight, we look out of the bedroom window and speak to the star, the one that was bought in Tia's name.

"I breathe for my children. I fear anyone hurting my boys. I fear that if anyone touches my sons or does anything to them, what I might do, I am so scared and angry. I have been so badly hurt by people I don't know and who know nothing of me.

"People have said the most terrible things about me as a mother and Tia's life. I can't understand how people who know nothing about somebody can send such awful messages. Then the other day a cabbie just asked me 'how is everything going?' He apologised and said 'I expect everybody asks you'. I realised he was the first person to ask me to my face without condemning me behind my back. I've been stared at and physically attacked and I know people judge me when they see me buying something nice for my sons.

"My close family are closer still, but this has hurt them so badly. My brother is struggling to work, my mum was suspended from her job when Stuart was arrested. I've heard people saying Tia was mistreated and that she's lucky to be away from this world. My Tia wanted for nothing. I have gone without so many times to give my children everything and the truth is that strangers have said things that have been repeated in the press and social media that have been unbelievable.

"Tia was my mum's life. She was as close to my mum as I'd been to my nan. We'd all lived together when Tia was a baby and she was my mum's "mini-me". Tia loved to be with my mum. Wherever my mum worked, Tia was taken there to meet everyone. I sometimes felt a little green-eyed about their relationship, but I could see it was like the relationship I'd had with my Nan, it was so unique and special.

"I can't say what'll happen after the trial. It's my last hurdle. I haven't allowed myself to grieve yet, I need to finish this first. When the trial is done, everything is over for everyone else, but it won't be for us. At the moment Tia is still talked about. After this we still have to live with the next hurdles. Will Stuart appeal, will he get parole, will he be out and about in a few years?

"I gave the ultimate trust to Stuart. I have so much I want to ask him. Sometimes I feel pity, but I want to hurt him, but I could never manage to hurt him like he hurt me. I want to meet him and I want him to answer my questions. Sometimes I think I would like to do this, but I doubt the authorities would allow it."

Create a FREE account to continue reading

eros

Registration is a free and easy way to support our journalism.

Join our community where you can: comment on stories; sign up to newsletters; enter competitions and access content on our app.

Your email address

Must be at least 6 characters, include an upper and lower case character and a number

You must be at least 18 years old to create an account

* Required fields

Already have an account? SIGN IN

By clicking Sign up you confirm that your data has been entered correctly and you have read and agree to our Terms of use , Cookie policy and Privacy notice .

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged in