Londoner's Diary: War of words in tale of two Michelin chefs

Time for a story: Heston Blumenthal
Ian West/PA Wire
24 August 2015

In this weekend’s Observer Food Monthly, Heston Blumenthal revealed plans to revolutionise The Fat Duck, his three-Michelin star restaurant in Bray famed for its snail porridge. “The menu will now be a story,” Blumenthal said. “It will have an introduction and a number of chapters and the chapter headings will give you an idea of what is coming.” The bespectacled gastronomist is taking inspiration from Alice in Wonderland, seeking help from Billy Elliot author Lee Hall and appointing a “director of story” to turn the Fat Duck experience into a fairy tale.

But haven’t we heard this story before? In 2013, Tom Sellers opened London’s Restaurant Story. “At Story the premise is simple; we seek to tell our story through the food we serve,” reads the website. “We invite you to participate in our narrative and to let yourselves become a part of our story.”

So similar are the two restaurants that dining guide Zagat says: “If you’re longing for a visit to The Fat Duck but don’t want to make the trek, Story is the next best thing.” Does Blumenthal, who is on the Evening Standard’s Progress 1000 list, hope that writing his own culinary tale will render the other Story a mere subplot?

Our own Fay Maschler spotted the sequel, tweeting: “Re Heston and his ‘Story’. Didn’t Tom Sellers get there first? Over two years ago.” Sellers replied: “Once upon a time, Fay...”

This morning, Blumenthal’s spokesman said: “I can absolutely tell you the two restaurant concepts are completely different.” Sellers was unavailable to comment further. Sounds like a recipe for a feud.

Justin Etzin still knows how to party

Hats off to Justin Etzin and Lana Zakocela, who married this weekend in Florence. The Consul General to the US and ambassador for tourism for the Seychelles tied the knot with the Latvian model in a four-day celebration, which included sets by the unlikely combination of Cirque Du Soleil and Craig David, who unfortunately performed separately.

Among the guests were actress Lindsay Lohan, former Seychelles President James Mancham, Lord Edward Spencer-Churchill and photographer Ellen Von Unwerth, who enjoyed a series of receptions in two private villas with the actual ceremony taking place in the woods overlooking the city.

In the Nineties, Etzin was noted for running a company that threw decadent parties for VIPs. Good to see he hasn’t lost the knack.

Who needs words to tell a story?

Want to publish a book but not got time to write a memoir? No matter. Model Alexa Chung released It, a book of doodles and titbits, while Kim Kardashian published a bound collection of selfies. Now it’s the turn of Chloe Sevigny the Oscar-nominated actress who was at Dover Street Market on Saturday to sign copies of her self-titled picture book. “I thought, let’s do a modest book,” she told Vogue earlier this year. “If one can do a modest book of oneself.” We’re not sure you can.

Aunt Mary is on the electoral trail

Traditional couples therapy is so last year. All the hippest politicos are turning to agony aunts. In The Oldie’s Ask Mary pages this month is a plea from “DM, north London.” “My partner, Christian, aged 66, is campaigning to be the Labour candidate in the 2016 mayoral election,” writes DM.

She speaks, of course, of Christian Wolmar her pride dented by the attentions he receives from “quite young women”. They are “extremely friendly, often making sure to touch his hand or arm ... He thinks they’re chatting him up”.

Christian Wolmar
Glenn Copus

DM concludes, dolefully: “I am a mere 61 and, I think, far more attractive than him but no one has chatted me up for a long time.”

Tragic. But DM is not alone in seeking Aunt Mary’s advice. In June, “JG” moaned to the Spectator’s Mary Killen that “my partner, a leading political commentator on a national newspaper, recently agreed to shave off his hair at the suggestion of his editor” and asked “how do I explain this horror to anyone we meet before it grows back — if it ever does?”

The Londoner concluded that JG must be Julian Glover, whose partner Matthew Parris had voluntarily become bald for an article.

So which political partner will next appear in the back pages? “SC” complaining about her partner’s crisp preference and holiday attire?

***

Jack Fox is part of the Fox acting dynasty, so it’s no surprise that he had a knack for theatricality at school. Currently on the West End stage alongside his father James in Dear Lupin, last week he told Tatler how he took drastic measures to avoid a teacher’s attempts at discipline. “My old head used to grab my hair if I behaved badly so one lunch break I went and got my head shaved.”

Yanis leaves a sour taste

As Alexis Tsipras called a snap election last week, The Londoner wondered what Yanis Varoufakis, pictured right, was up to. Nothing glamorous, it seems.

The former Greek finance minister was in the South of France yesterday as the special guest — at a village fête. After getting a train — in first class — with ex-French minister Arnaud Montebourg to Frangy-en-Bresse, the two Leftists sat down for some “cuvée Europe” — a wine made for the occasion and partly in his honour — which, apparently, was a tad sour.

He then made a speech, at which point torrential rain drenched the audience.

Not that it made much difference. Poorly translated and too niche on economics, it reportedly catered only to the hacks in attendance. It was all Greek to everyone else.

Confusion of the day: John Humphrys on BBC Radio 4 this morning, talking about “iD” separating. We’re guessing his notes said “1D” instead of “One Direction.”

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