Research finds men say ‘I love you’ faster than women

More than 3,000 people took part in the research study
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If Ben Affleck was to have said “I love you” to Jennifer Lopez within 107, he would be a faster mover than the average man
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William Mata16 August 2023

Men take, on average, 15 fewer days than women to be the first in a relationship to say “I love you” to their partner, according to research.

A study by Abertay University in Dundee has found that if a man is the first to say the three words it will be 108 days, just over three months, into a relationship.

Women will take 123 days, the study found, if they are the first to say “I love you” to a man.

It does not include somebody saying “I love you, too” and the study was made into heterosexual relationships. It does not, therefore, mean that a woman waits for 15 days before saying it back!

A write-up of the study says: “Feeling and expressing love is at the core of romantic relationships, but individuals differ in their proclivity to worry about their relationships and/or avoid intimacy.

“Saying “I love you” signals a commitment to a future with our romantic partner. Contrary to gender stereotypes, research demonstrates that men are more likely to confess love first.”

Around one -fifth of the 3,109 adults surveyed admitted to saying it within two months and 0.5 per cent within one week.

At the other end of the spectrum, 8.8 per cent waited seven months or longer, while 0.4 per cent waited longer than one year.

The research was gathered by sending participants from Australia, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, France, Poland, and the UK online questionnaires.

And the man is typically the first to say “I love you” in every country apart from France.

The study added: “No sex differences were observed in the duration before thinking about confessing love or level of happiness at hearing a love confession, revealing a sex difference in speech acts but not the accompanying emotional response to a love confession.”

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