Now Vaughan has no excuse as pitiful batting puts England on the rack

England's captain Michael Vaughan walks off after his first ball duck on the first day of the third Test
13 April 2012

By PAUL NEWMAN

Brainless, utterly brainless. Two runouts in consecutive balls at a time when Andrew Flintoff was flexing his muscles ensured England totally wasted first use of an Edgbaston featherbed yesterday. They can hardly blame this one on Darren Pattinson.

This was awful from England, a wretched display which leaves them facing an uphill battle if they are to save their skins. South Africa, dominant at Headingley and now well placed to win their first series in England since returning to world cricket, could hardly believe their luck.

England's captain Michael Vaughan walks off after his first ball duck on the first day of the third Test

England's captain Michael Vaughan walks off after his first ball duck on the first day of the third Test

If the end to England's incompetent 231 on the first day of the third npower Test beggared belief - Flintoff running out Jimmy Anderson and then Monty Panesar committing cricketing suicide next ball - the damage was done much earlier and is much more worrying. This was far worse than the first day at Headingley when England were bundled out for 204 after losing the toss.

The two England batsmen most in need of runs, Michael Vaughan and Paul Collingwood, failed horribly and the only two who managed to get themselves in, Alastair Cook and Ian Bell, were unable to go on to play the big innings their team desperately needed.

Only at Lord's three weeks ago have England passed 400 in their first innings in the last 15 Tests, a damning statistic. They have repeatedly denied they are a cosy club which is harder to get out of than into, but consistency of selection has led to under-achievement and complacency.

The suspicion throughout two series against New Zealand was that England were marginally the better of two mediocre sides and nothing that has happened since South Africa found their feet after a bad start in the first Test at Lord's has dispelled that notion.

Monty Panesar was run out by Mark Boucher to end England's miserable innings

Monty Panesar was run out by Mark Boucher to end England's miserable innings

Vaughan got the team he wanted here and it seemed logical to play the extra batsman after the botched experiment of promoting Tim Ambrose to six at Headingley, but the problem is that Collingwood's loss of form is looking terminal.

It was painful to watch such a gutsy performer as Collingwood scratch around for 44 minutes, facing 22 balls and scoring runs off just one of them. The end, attempting a horrible crooked drive and edging to first slip, was almost merciful.

Collingwood came into this Test with 92 first-class runs behind him and, with only another four here, seems to have wasted his last chance to reach a hundred runs by the end of July. To think the old benchmark used to be a thousand before the end of May.

By the time of Collingwood's demise England were already deep in trouble at a half-full Edgbaston, usually the most patriotic of grounds. Maybe the Wednesday start disturbed routines, maybe Test cricket is already starting to suffer in the face of the Twenty20 revolution.

Or maybe the people of Birmingham were just disillusioned after the horror of Headingley.

Andrew Strauss fell onto his stumps to start the rot for England at Edgbaston

Andrew Strauss fell onto his stumps to start the rot for England at Edgbaston

The start from Cook and Andrew Strauss was competent until Strauss, inexplicably, trod on his wicket while pushing calmly off the back foot.

Then Vaughan, first ball, prodded at an Andre Nel delivery outside off stump that he could have left and was judged by Aleem Dar to have got the slightest of touches.

The England captain, whose need for runs is becoming acute, did not like the decision but technology suggested the umpire had got it right.

Kevin Pietersen was also unhappy with his decision - Steve Davis ruled he got an inside edge on to pad before the ball looped out to point - and this time it seemed as though the Australian umpire might have got it wrong. However, Pietersen was perilously close to lbw anyway.

Only Cook appeared to have a look of permanence about him as Nel, slipping into his alter-ego of Gunter, attempted to unsettle his close friend and former Essex teammate by turning on his full repertoire of histrionics. He had the last word, producing a corker to turn Cook round and force an edge to the diving Jacques Kallis.

Bell, as so often, looked in sublime touch but departed before the job was done, leaving Flintoff to bat as well as he has done for two years in shepherding the tail.

The allrounder who England no longer think can bat at six, was circumspect until Ambrose - like Collingwood living on borrowed time - departed to an inside edge off Kallis.

Alistair Cook top scored for England with his 76 on the first day of the third Test

Alistair Cook top scored for England with his 76 on the first day of the third Test

With the innings subsiding, Flintoff opened his shoulders and crashed Makhaya Ntini over midwicket for six and then murderously straight for four off consecutive balls before pitiful running between the wickets, to which he contributed as much as Panesar, left him stranded.

Flintoff gave England a glimmer of hope, dismissing Graeme Smith with his second ball for 270 runs fewer than the South Africa captain scored (277) here five years ago but there were few other alarms before the close.

Just as disturbingly, Ryan Sidebottom twice screamed at Panesar for supposed fielding errors. Team unity? A close-knit England side? Pattinson must be glad he is back in the sanctuary of Trent Bridge.

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